When someone makes a decision to achieve an extraordinary goal, they are working on becoming a different person. An extraordinary goal increases confidence, develop a competence, and boost their level of motivation. Its an exciting time when you focus your attention towards something you really want. Its a great day when you decide to change your life!
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. They say it in a variety of ways. Sometimes the messages are subtle by offering distractions. Some good and some not so good. They also just come out and say you cannot do it. This is a very tough conversation because the message many times comes from someone you love and trust.
If you really want to acheive something extraordinary, you need to manage your mindset. Surround yourself with people and things that keep you focused. A friend should support you and help you stay on track. Stay away from those who offer distractions or provide negative feedback. This is important! If they cannot see this, then it might be time to find a new friend. Manage your workspace and your home settings too so that you are reminded of your goal and your commitment.
The best advice I can give you to achieve your goal is to stay focused. This would mean eliminating all obstacles and distractions. Try associating with more positive people, who add to your life and stay away from those who bring you down. Feed you mind with good news and positive information that will keep your spirits up and on track. Also, control the language you use, especially the way in which you describe yourself. You will find it easier to succeed. Good luck. I know you can do it.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
HAVE YOU HAD THE TALK YET?
It goes without saying that the people I have known all my life are my parents. As I write this, I am a 52 year old with two parents who are both in their seventies. My mom recently had a bout with cancer and it made me start to think that my mom will someday not be with us. Dad's time will come too. Its an inevitable situation that we all have to deal with at some point in life.
A good friend shared with me a book summary called "The Parent Care Conversation." by Dan Taylor. The book summary covers six strategies for dealing with the emotional and financial challenges of aging parents. This often difficult topic offers a choice of you either being proactive and work with your parents or be reactive when the times comes to deal with their care and passing.
The first step is always the toughest. The parents need to share with you their feelings and wishes about their care and passing. This conversation will hopefully reveal your parents vision of their care and passing, their financial needs and wants, and their wishes for the property and possessions they have at the time of their death. The talk should also include what professional care they might want or need at any point in the process.
Dan Taylor outlines his CARE system which stands for challenges, alternatives, resources, and experience. Its a process of listening and asking the right questions so you can understand and articulate their wishes. From there, you can explore the alternatives and resources available to you to hopefully provide the experience our parents would like to have.
I highly recommend you read this book. Its a great way in getting you to start the talk with your parents. Being proactive is a far better approach than being reactive when emotions are running high. Hopefully, with open communication you will be the needed advocate for your parents when they need it the most.
A good friend shared with me a book summary called "The Parent Care Conversation." by Dan Taylor. The book summary covers six strategies for dealing with the emotional and financial challenges of aging parents. This often difficult topic offers a choice of you either being proactive and work with your parents or be reactive when the times comes to deal with their care and passing.
The first step is always the toughest. The parents need to share with you their feelings and wishes about their care and passing. This conversation will hopefully reveal your parents vision of their care and passing, their financial needs and wants, and their wishes for the property and possessions they have at the time of their death. The talk should also include what professional care they might want or need at any point in the process.
Dan Taylor outlines his CARE system which stands for challenges, alternatives, resources, and experience. Its a process of listening and asking the right questions so you can understand and articulate their wishes. From there, you can explore the alternatives and resources available to you to hopefully provide the experience our parents would like to have.
I highly recommend you read this book. Its a great way in getting you to start the talk with your parents. Being proactive is a far better approach than being reactive when emotions are running high. Hopefully, with open communication you will be the needed advocate for your parents when they need it the most.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
PROBLEMS GIVE MEANING TO LIFE
I like having problems. They occur all the time. They occur at work, at home, and in life in general. Most people don't like problems. They would gladly do anything to get away from them. This climate gives opportunity to the leader who is willing and able to either tackle others problems or train them to solve them. Your problem solving skills will always be needed, because people always have them.
The two things you need to be a great problem solver is the right attitude and the right action plan. The best attributes you can have when solving problems is a positive attitude and enthusiasm. Positive thinking does not always change the circumstances but it always change the person. The best thing you can do for someone is to change their perspective on addressing their problems.
The best course of solving a problem is to first identify the problem. Many times, we look at the cause of the problem and not the problem itself. Make sure you prioritize your problems. They should stand in single file so you face them one at a time. Next you should define the problem. Ask the right questions, talk to the right people, and get the hard facts. Select the right people to help you in the problem solving process. It never hurts to have someone with the expertise to help you solve your problem. Finally, collect as many solutions as you can. You can then prioritize them to select the best solution for implementation.
Problems are good problems to have. Problems keep the creative tension in life you need to be successful. Eliminate problems and life would reduce all possibilities and powers to zero.
Colin Powell said it best. He said " The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."
The two things you need to be a great problem solver is the right attitude and the right action plan. The best attributes you can have when solving problems is a positive attitude and enthusiasm. Positive thinking does not always change the circumstances but it always change the person. The best thing you can do for someone is to change their perspective on addressing their problems.
The best course of solving a problem is to first identify the problem. Many times, we look at the cause of the problem and not the problem itself. Make sure you prioritize your problems. They should stand in single file so you face them one at a time. Next you should define the problem. Ask the right questions, talk to the right people, and get the hard facts. Select the right people to help you in the problem solving process. It never hurts to have someone with the expertise to help you solve your problem. Finally, collect as many solutions as you can. You can then prioritize them to select the best solution for implementation.
Problems are good problems to have. Problems keep the creative tension in life you need to be successful. Eliminate problems and life would reduce all possibilities and powers to zero.
Colin Powell said it best. He said " The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership."
Thursday, October 6, 2011
PERSPECTIVE: THE GLASS IS REALLY HALF FULL
Life is full of little interruptions. We complain about many things like traffic, slow computers, peoples habits, not enough time, and other trivial things that get in the way of our rich life.
I left the hospital thinking how great of a life we lead and how fortunate we all are. I ask all of you to take a minute and reflect on your wonderful life and be thankful for the gifts you receive.
My mom has cancer. She has been at UCSD Medical Center off and on for the past three months. Because of her illness, she has had difficulty breathing and talking. My mom is getting better and is close to her old self. I think she now appreciates some of the simple things in life like being able to talk to people. I also got a chance to meet some other people who have much different take on life. They too miss the simple things in life and want to go back and have the life they once had.
During my mom's stay, I was having lunch in the hospital cafeteria and a woman in a wheel chair asked if she could sit with me. When she sat down she said a prayer thanking god for what he had given her. I asked her to tell me her story. She told me that she was a former drug dealer and just spent the last three years in prison. She is homeless. She was at the hospital because she needed hip replacement surgery. The doctor told her that she needed to be healthier to survive the surgery. She worries when it rains outside.
She went on to tell me that she had made a big mistake early in life with drugs. It cost her three years of her life and her health. She said she is working hard each day to get back where she needs to be to get her life back. I was impressed with her optimism. I wish her luck.
She went on to tell me that she had made a big mistake early in life with drugs. It cost her three years of her life and her health. She said she is working hard each day to get back where she needs to be to get her life back. I was impressed with her optimism. I wish her luck.
I left the hospital thinking how great of a life we lead and how fortunate we all are. I ask all of you to take a minute and reflect on your wonderful life and be thankful for the gifts you receive.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
PERSUASION: GETTING PEOPLE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT.
There are basically two ways you can get others to do what you want. You can compel them to do it or you can persuade them. Compulsion is a method of slavery; Persuasion is the method of free men.
Getting people to do what you want starts with getting an understanding of what makes people tick and what motivates them, that is, a knowledge of human nature. Great leaders possess that knowledge. If you understand what motivates people, you have at your command the most powerful tool for dealing with them.
Excellent leaders create an environment for success. The best way to gain loyalty is to show interest in and care for them by your words and actions. Sam Walton said it best. "Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people can believe in themselves, its amazing what they can accomplish."
I have heard on more than one occasion that some business owners only hire "A players." My quick response to that kind of statement is that you need to provide those "A players" with "A jobs." A players want to be challenged. My very first A player I hired left after six months since I had given him a C job. Good lesson.
People will work harder, stay longer, and do better when they like what they do. Make a part of their work life a plan for personal development to help them to continue to grow and improve.
If they know you care about them, and you help them become better as a person, they will do what you want them to do.
Getting people to do what you want starts with getting an understanding of what makes people tick and what motivates them, that is, a knowledge of human nature. Great leaders possess that knowledge. If you understand what motivates people, you have at your command the most powerful tool for dealing with them.
Excellent leaders create an environment for success. The best way to gain loyalty is to show interest in and care for them by your words and actions. Sam Walton said it best. "Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people can believe in themselves, its amazing what they can accomplish."
I have heard on more than one occasion that some business owners only hire "A players." My quick response to that kind of statement is that you need to provide those "A players" with "A jobs." A players want to be challenged. My very first A player I hired left after six months since I had given him a C job. Good lesson.
People will work harder, stay longer, and do better when they like what they do. Make a part of their work life a plan for personal development to help them to continue to grow and improve.
If they know you care about them, and you help them become better as a person, they will do what you want them to do.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
YOU GOTTA WANT IT
I have been given the pleasure of mentoring some of the baseball players at the University of San Diego here in town. As you might imagine, playing baseball at the college level isn't easy. Weights and conditioning start at 5:50AM, followed by classes in the morning, baseball practice in the afternoon, and then homework in the evenings. Throw in the games that start Friday and last all weekend. An ambitious schedule to say the least. They are all remarkable young men. All of them have the dream of playing professional baseball.
To achieve your dream, you gotta want it. It has to be an urge inside that can push you past the obstacles when your mind and body are telling you to stop. A great person will achieve their dream only when he is willing to "pay the price" for it.
The most valuable trait anyone can have is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do when it ought to be done whether you like it or not. Having self-discipline is powerful and should be learned at the earliest possible age.
Start tomorrow on developing a plan for improving your self-discipline. List five areas in your life that lack discipline. Place them in order of your priority for conquering them. Then take on the first one by spending fifteen minutes each morning getting focused in order to get control of this weak area in your life. Give yourself sixty days to work on this one area until you go to the next one.
Remember, having it all doesn't mean having it all at once. The slow accumulation of small disciplines will one day make a big difference and get you closer to the big leagues.
To achieve your dream, you gotta want it. It has to be an urge inside that can push you past the obstacles when your mind and body are telling you to stop. A great person will achieve their dream only when he is willing to "pay the price" for it.
The most valuable trait anyone can have is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do when it ought to be done whether you like it or not. Having self-discipline is powerful and should be learned at the earliest possible age.
Start tomorrow on developing a plan for improving your self-discipline. List five areas in your life that lack discipline. Place them in order of your priority for conquering them. Then take on the first one by spending fifteen minutes each morning getting focused in order to get control of this weak area in your life. Give yourself sixty days to work on this one area until you go to the next one.
Remember, having it all doesn't mean having it all at once. The slow accumulation of small disciplines will one day make a big difference and get you closer to the big leagues.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
WINNING ISN'T BY ACCIDENT
I read a wonderful article on the Core Values of a Winning Team by John Maxwell. The article tells of the five C's for developing a winning team. Here is a short summary on the article.
The first is COMMITMENT. I have never seen a successful team without 100% commitment to the cause and common vision of the team. Everyone need to be pulling in the same direction. To have full commitment, a team must have a full understanding of the vision.
The second is CONTRIBUTION. In order for a team to succeed, each team member must contribute their all. They should be committed in making a meaningful contribution to the team. They must get their work in.
The third is COMPETENCE. It goes without saying that you must be the most competent in your field. Always be a student of your craft. Get your work in. Listen and ask questions to those who have high competence in your field.
The fourth is COMMUNICATION. The single most important part of leadership is communication. To achieve maximum potential, communication must be candid and direct. Be honest and open. Open communication is healthy and fosters trust. Also, do not sit on communication. Fast is the key ideal.
Finally, the fifth is COOPERATION. All your strength is in unity. Cooperation assumes a certain level of maturity and a commitment to understanding. Cooperation requires trust. Without full trust, little can be accomplished. Respect is also essential for cooperation.
John Maxwell's message in this article is that winning is on purpose, and you do it as a team. You also get ahead by helping others achieve their success. You will be far more successful if you have an others-oriented attitude than a me oriented attitude.
Is there someone who you can help achieve their success?
The first is COMMITMENT. I have never seen a successful team without 100% commitment to the cause and common vision of the team. Everyone need to be pulling in the same direction. To have full commitment, a team must have a full understanding of the vision.
The second is CONTRIBUTION. In order for a team to succeed, each team member must contribute their all. They should be committed in making a meaningful contribution to the team. They must get their work in.
The third is COMPETENCE. It goes without saying that you must be the most competent in your field. Always be a student of your craft. Get your work in. Listen and ask questions to those who have high competence in your field.
The fourth is COMMUNICATION. The single most important part of leadership is communication. To achieve maximum potential, communication must be candid and direct. Be honest and open. Open communication is healthy and fosters trust. Also, do not sit on communication. Fast is the key ideal.
Finally, the fifth is COOPERATION. All your strength is in unity. Cooperation assumes a certain level of maturity and a commitment to understanding. Cooperation requires trust. Without full trust, little can be accomplished. Respect is also essential for cooperation.
John Maxwell's message in this article is that winning is on purpose, and you do it as a team. You also get ahead by helping others achieve their success. You will be far more successful if you have an others-oriented attitude than a me oriented attitude.
Is there someone who you can help achieve their success?
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